Public Masturbation

Masturbation is a taboo in most African people. Nobody talks or accept that they do it. And for me coming from a small town and finding someone on my window masturbating was a shock of my life. When I first came across this, it was an afternoon, and I was in my flat, preparing food and eating without giving much notice of what was happening outside. After a while, I noticed this man but never thought much of him, I told myself he was waiting for someone. When I realised that he had his pants down and was masturbating I was shocked and I panicked.

I was on depression treatment when all this happened, I thought he have been following me, and he was going to rape me. I could not close the curtains, I felt dirty and asked myself 'WHY ME?" I really took this personally. That was when I learned that there were people who are called 'exhibitionist' who masturbate in public. I moved flats, I could not stay there anymore.

Living in a quite place I thought I was done with all that drama, until I noticed a man who hanged around the same spot almost everyday and at the same time. I asked my flat mate if she has also noticed him. I was surprised when she said: 'Maybe its the masturbating guy' without paying much attention to it. 'Do you know them?' That was my question and I could not hide the shock. She told me that there is a lot of them who come around and masturbate in that area and she added that they are 'cute.'

I asked myself a lot of questions but no one could answer me, I needed to talk to one of them. But was I safe to do that? How to approach them? I told my flatmate to organise a meeting in a public place. That is how I met Mandla, 35 who also came to the city to work. Mandla is coming from a rural area on the North Coast of KwaZulu Natal, at his age he probably have a wife and children. My flatmate is good at making man believe that they can have her for lunch. I apologised to Mandla for asking what I think was personal but since he was masturbating in public it was not personal.

Mandla's Story

Its been a year since I started masturbating in public. I was at a park one afternoon with my girlfriend when I saw a man masturbating. Because I was with someone I did not entertain it much. I made it a point to go back to the park every afternoon, I was curious. This big guy who looked well and rich, what was he doing in the park. I realised that there were girls who were showing off their bodies to him who were inside their flat. I think this guy noticed me, and one day we had a chat. I asked him why he was doing it, and if he was not scared? He told me that he enjoys it very much and yes he is scared because he can be arrested. Then he taught me.

At first I was scared and shy and I could not do it during the day, I preferred evenings. I started spending less time with my girlfriend because I have a new hobby now. I don't think I am cheating on my girlfriend because I am not physical having sex with another woman its just me looking at beautiful breasts. I prefer masturbating more than being involved. My ex-girlfriend cheated on me, so I have a problem with trust. And when I am home, I don't do it. I only do it here in the city. We have 3 spots and all of these spots there are a couple of girls that are willing show us their 'boobs.'

I don't want people back home to know that I am doing this, that is why I travel to other areas to do it. I just want to see the breasts only. One day, I will stop its just a hobby nothing much.

I totally agree with my flatmate, Mandla is a cute, and a humble man who is just doing something that he thinks is fun. He was surprised when I told him about my first encounter with a man who was masturbating outside my flat, that I was shocked, I cried and I had to move from that area.

Mandla

I thought that women are happy with us, because they show us their bodies. I did not know that some people are scared. Sisi (sister) are you telling me the truth. Did you really cry?

I told him that for me sex is a private thing doesn't matter if you are masturbating or not, it felt like that man have invaded my space. I also told him that as a human being and a citizen of our country I respect him and his choices but I don't think showing his private part in public is a good idea. If I was his partner I would not forgive him when I found out that he was showing off in public.

I think Mandla, shared this with his team of masturbaters (8 in total), because since then, we have not seen a man with his pants down and masturbating. Odd hobby!!!!!