What is happening in our continent and more especially in our country of people does not want to accept change is sad. What does this teach our children? Some African countries are picking up the pieces of civil wars because of the leaders who think being in power is a gift from the ancestors. What is wrong with these people? Is it about money or the high life they are used to the contributing factor of this behaviour? What about democracy?
South Africa is approaching local government elections and we see people defecting from their political parties either as independents because they are not on the final list of candidate or they want better positions. Strange how some people think for themselves because personally I don't think it's about the needs of the people on the ground but it's about what I want to get once I am selected as a leader 'Personal Gains' as they phrase it. And now we see the same thing with the Shembe Church where people claim to be the rights heirs of the church. So sad! I'm thinking about the followers of the church - what if there is a situation where a family is divided because one thinks Mduduzi is the right leader and the other think Nhlanhla (the first born son of the late Vimbeni Shembe) is the right leader?
I wish people can stop thinking about themselves and look at the big picture consider some factors of what is a leader, responsibilities that come with that and so forth. It's always about the MONEY!!!!! We can't have leaders that only look for what is in it for them what happened to respect what your leadership is saying. Are we losing focus? I wish I can have answers to these questions but my take on it is MONEY! Really, it is sad that leaders like Gbagbo have to face charges of humanity if he only accepted to voices of people and bowed out in peace, he would not be embarassed and imagine the shame his family is going through with the picture of his wife in a nightdress in the Mercury Newspaper 13 April 2011. Gadaffi I wonder when is it going to end with him? I hope that our leaders can learn from what is happening around them and can avoid a situation similar to the one we are witnessing happening in our country. I love my country!
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Monday, August 30, 2010
Public Servants Strikes vs Parents
I write this post as one of the devastated parents in South Africa during this time of Public Servants Strike. Today, it's the beginning of the third week and the strike is continuing. Earlier today we read a call from the President of the Republic that Ministers should meet with Union Representative and reach an agreement because this strike is crippling service delivery. We are all affected by the public strike, as a parent, the workers and of course the most affected are the children. My daughter attends a township school, since the beginning of the strike they are at home, some members of the striking teachers went to their school and threatened the principal who was left with no choice but to close school.
Media
We are all following the news on what is happening, if a settlement have been reached but so far nothing government is determined that what they offered is the best and that have led on the public servants insulting the president - placards that they are carrying. I echo the words of Zizi Kodwa that they have a right to strike but not to attack the president.
Gap
It is true that in South Africa there is still a big gap in salaries especially the government employees. Personally, a teacher is supposed to earn more not that I am looking down on the others but think of their important role in the society. Some of my friends will argue this point and say they are not doing their job, most of them are lazy and lack motivation. I agree with that 100% but what will encourage a person if they feel they are not recognised...
My wish and I think most parents wishes that the government can settle this and for the children's sake to go back to school because as I have mentioned above "Black" schools are most affected and most minister's children attend private schools and are not affected. I wonder what they are thinking about this fact? My daughter is in grade 9 and she is missing a lot at this crucial time of their curriculum, yes we are encouraging them to study at home but for how long?
Media
We are all following the news on what is happening, if a settlement have been reached but so far nothing government is determined that what they offered is the best and that have led on the public servants insulting the president - placards that they are carrying. I echo the words of Zizi Kodwa that they have a right to strike but not to attack the president.
Gap
It is true that in South Africa there is still a big gap in salaries especially the government employees. Personally, a teacher is supposed to earn more not that I am looking down on the others but think of their important role in the society. Some of my friends will argue this point and say they are not doing their job, most of them are lazy and lack motivation. I agree with that 100% but what will encourage a person if they feel they are not recognised...
My wish and I think most parents wishes that the government can settle this and for the children's sake to go back to school because as I have mentioned above "Black" schools are most affected and most minister's children attend private schools and are not affected. I wonder what they are thinking about this fact? My daughter is in grade 9 and she is missing a lot at this crucial time of their curriculum, yes we are encouraging them to study at home but for how long?
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Women sharing their past
Some people believe in keeping things to themselves. I am not that kind, I talk about everything not to everyone ofcourse but if it necessary I do. I met a girl who stays in my block of flats. We started talking about everything from weather to relationships. I am very vocal when it comes to women abuse. I shared with her things that I have never told any soul about my past. And she opened up and told me things that she have never told anybody before.
Her story
We call each other 'Sju' a township slang meaning sister-in-law. Her name is Bo. "I was almost raped when I was young by my uncle. He use to call me to his bedroom and touch my private part. I remember one day, I was at home with him, and I was wearing my cousin's panties and my uncle saw this, he called me and pulled my dress up and said I will tell your mother that you are wearing so and so panties, while saying that he was touching my bum and I denied wearing my cousin's panties. And he let me go after that. This went on, other time he would call me and put me on his bed, took of my panties and he looked at me and pinched my vagina, he then said something to himself and left me there."
"You know Sju, I was young I didn't know there was something wrong with all that. But what I remember clearly is that he was very protective over me. I never told anybody about this and he stopped doing it."
The second attempt
"At home my granny kept a lot of goats. There was no one to look after the goats and it was decided that someone should be hired to look after the goats. My neighbour son was given the job. One day, it was very hot and we were at home, I was still young to go to school. He called me to his room and he told me to lie down on his sleeping mat and take of my panties. He then pulled down his pants and slept over me. When he was about to put his penis into my vagina, my twin brother saw us and he went to tell the adults."
"I was called and was asked what happened. My mother said I should tell everything they will not hit me. I told them exactly what happened. My twin was insisting that we had sex but I told them that he did not put it inside my vagina. Then they told me that what he did was wrong I must not allow people to that to me. They sent for the boy's father to be called and they made me to tell it again in front of everybody. I did. They sjambok him until he could not cry no more."
"I felt really bad about that, I wish I did not say anything but I am greatful that my twin brother saw us. Just imagine how things would have ended up."
A bond have been created between me and this girl. Some of us have to go through these in order to be what we are today. Some are not so lucky and their whole lives are messed up by these things. We need to have these moments when we talk about our past, fears, successes etc.
Her story
We call each other 'Sju' a township slang meaning sister-in-law. Her name is Bo. "I was almost raped when I was young by my uncle. He use to call me to his bedroom and touch my private part. I remember one day, I was at home with him, and I was wearing my cousin's panties and my uncle saw this, he called me and pulled my dress up and said I will tell your mother that you are wearing so and so panties, while saying that he was touching my bum and I denied wearing my cousin's panties. And he let me go after that. This went on, other time he would call me and put me on his bed, took of my panties and he looked at me and pinched my vagina, he then said something to himself and left me there."
"You know Sju, I was young I didn't know there was something wrong with all that. But what I remember clearly is that he was very protective over me. I never told anybody about this and he stopped doing it."
The second attempt
"At home my granny kept a lot of goats. There was no one to look after the goats and it was decided that someone should be hired to look after the goats. My neighbour son was given the job. One day, it was very hot and we were at home, I was still young to go to school. He called me to his room and he told me to lie down on his sleeping mat and take of my panties. He then pulled down his pants and slept over me. When he was about to put his penis into my vagina, my twin brother saw us and he went to tell the adults."
"I was called and was asked what happened. My mother said I should tell everything they will not hit me. I told them exactly what happened. My twin was insisting that we had sex but I told them that he did not put it inside my vagina. Then they told me that what he did was wrong I must not allow people to that to me. They sent for the boy's father to be called and they made me to tell it again in front of everybody. I did. They sjambok him until he could not cry no more."
"I felt really bad about that, I wish I did not say anything but I am greatful that my twin brother saw us. Just imagine how things would have ended up."
A bond have been created between me and this girl. Some of us have to go through these in order to be what we are today. Some are not so lucky and their whole lives are messed up by these things. We need to have these moments when we talk about our past, fears, successes etc.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Public Masturbation
Masturbation is a taboo in most African people. Nobody talks or accept that they do it. And for me coming from a small town and finding someone on my window masturbating was a shock of my life. When I first came across this, it was an afternoon, and I was in my flat, preparing food and eating without giving much notice of what was happening outside. After a while, I noticed this man but never thought much of him, I told myself he was waiting for someone. When I realised that he had his pants down and was masturbating I was shocked and I panicked.
I was on depression treatment when all this happened, I thought he have been following me, and he was going to rape me. I could not close the curtains, I felt dirty and asked myself 'WHY ME?" I really took this personally. That was when I learned that there were people who are called 'exhibitionist' who masturbate in public. I moved flats, I could not stay there anymore.
Living in a quite place I thought I was done with all that drama, until I noticed a man who hanged around the same spot almost everyday and at the same time. I asked my flat mate if she has also noticed him. I was surprised when she said: 'Maybe its the masturbating guy' without paying much attention to it. 'Do you know them?' That was my question and I could not hide the shock. She told me that there is a lot of them who come around and masturbate in that area and she added that they are 'cute.'
I asked myself a lot of questions but no one could answer me, I needed to talk to one of them. But was I safe to do that? How to approach them? I told my flatmate to organise a meeting in a public place. That is how I met Mandla, 35 who also came to the city to work. Mandla is coming from a rural area on the North Coast of KwaZulu Natal, at his age he probably have a wife and children. My flatmate is good at making man believe that they can have her for lunch. I apologised to Mandla for asking what I think was personal but since he was masturbating in public it was not personal.
Mandla's Story
Its been a year since I started masturbating in public. I was at a park one afternoon with my girlfriend when I saw a man masturbating. Because I was with someone I did not entertain it much. I made it a point to go back to the park every afternoon, I was curious. This big guy who looked well and rich, what was he doing in the park. I realised that there were girls who were showing off their bodies to him who were inside their flat. I think this guy noticed me, and one day we had a chat. I asked him why he was doing it, and if he was not scared? He told me that he enjoys it very much and yes he is scared because he can be arrested. Then he taught me.
At first I was scared and shy and I could not do it during the day, I preferred evenings. I started spending less time with my girlfriend because I have a new hobby now. I don't think I am cheating on my girlfriend because I am not physical having sex with another woman its just me looking at beautiful breasts. I prefer masturbating more than being involved. My ex-girlfriend cheated on me, so I have a problem with trust. And when I am home, I don't do it. I only do it here in the city. We have 3 spots and all of these spots there are a couple of girls that are willing show us their 'boobs.'
I don't want people back home to know that I am doing this, that is why I travel to other areas to do it. I just want to see the breasts only. One day, I will stop its just a hobby nothing much.
I totally agree with my flatmate, Mandla is a cute, and a humble man who is just doing something that he thinks is fun. He was surprised when I told him about my first encounter with a man who was masturbating outside my flat, that I was shocked, I cried and I had to move from that area.
Mandla
I thought that women are happy with us, because they show us their bodies. I did not know that some people are scared. Sisi (sister) are you telling me the truth. Did you really cry?
I told him that for me sex is a private thing doesn't matter if you are masturbating or not, it felt like that man have invaded my space. I also told him that as a human being and a citizen of our country I respect him and his choices but I don't think showing his private part in public is a good idea. If I was his partner I would not forgive him when I found out that he was showing off in public.
I think Mandla, shared this with his team of masturbaters (8 in total), because since then, we have not seen a man with his pants down and masturbating. Odd hobby!!!!!
I was on depression treatment when all this happened, I thought he have been following me, and he was going to rape me. I could not close the curtains, I felt dirty and asked myself 'WHY ME?" I really took this personally. That was when I learned that there were people who are called 'exhibitionist' who masturbate in public. I moved flats, I could not stay there anymore.
Living in a quite place I thought I was done with all that drama, until I noticed a man who hanged around the same spot almost everyday and at the same time. I asked my flat mate if she has also noticed him. I was surprised when she said: 'Maybe its the masturbating guy' without paying much attention to it. 'Do you know them?' That was my question and I could not hide the shock. She told me that there is a lot of them who come around and masturbate in that area and she added that they are 'cute.'
I asked myself a lot of questions but no one could answer me, I needed to talk to one of them. But was I safe to do that? How to approach them? I told my flatmate to organise a meeting in a public place. That is how I met Mandla, 35 who also came to the city to work. Mandla is coming from a rural area on the North Coast of KwaZulu Natal, at his age he probably have a wife and children. My flatmate is good at making man believe that they can have her for lunch. I apologised to Mandla for asking what I think was personal but since he was masturbating in public it was not personal.
Mandla's Story
Its been a year since I started masturbating in public. I was at a park one afternoon with my girlfriend when I saw a man masturbating. Because I was with someone I did not entertain it much. I made it a point to go back to the park every afternoon, I was curious. This big guy who looked well and rich, what was he doing in the park. I realised that there were girls who were showing off their bodies to him who were inside their flat. I think this guy noticed me, and one day we had a chat. I asked him why he was doing it, and if he was not scared? He told me that he enjoys it very much and yes he is scared because he can be arrested. Then he taught me.
At first I was scared and shy and I could not do it during the day, I preferred evenings. I started spending less time with my girlfriend because I have a new hobby now. I don't think I am cheating on my girlfriend because I am not physical having sex with another woman its just me looking at beautiful breasts. I prefer masturbating more than being involved. My ex-girlfriend cheated on me, so I have a problem with trust. And when I am home, I don't do it. I only do it here in the city. We have 3 spots and all of these spots there are a couple of girls that are willing show us their 'boobs.'
I don't want people back home to know that I am doing this, that is why I travel to other areas to do it. I just want to see the breasts only. One day, I will stop its just a hobby nothing much.
I totally agree with my flatmate, Mandla is a cute, and a humble man who is just doing something that he thinks is fun. He was surprised when I told him about my first encounter with a man who was masturbating outside my flat, that I was shocked, I cried and I had to move from that area.
Mandla
I thought that women are happy with us, because they show us their bodies. I did not know that some people are scared. Sisi (sister) are you telling me the truth. Did you really cry?
I told him that for me sex is a private thing doesn't matter if you are masturbating or not, it felt like that man have invaded my space. I also told him that as a human being and a citizen of our country I respect him and his choices but I don't think showing his private part in public is a good idea. If I was his partner I would not forgive him when I found out that he was showing off in public.
I think Mandla, shared this with his team of masturbaters (8 in total), because since then, we have not seen a man with his pants down and masturbating. Odd hobby!!!!!
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